Stephen Chbosky's 'Perks of Being a Wallflower'- Final Review

Spoilers Ahead: Read at your Own Risk

I loved this book. Though it was written in a format that I've constantly expressed hatred towards, I really feel like there was no way to not like this book. What the author lacked in dialogue he made up for with Charlie's complex yet beautifully written thoughts. So many of the things he's said were relatable. It was almost like talking from confused freshman to another confuse freshman. And the ending was just fantastic. At the beginning you feel like he's talking to someone else, to whoever he's writing to. Or maybe that was just how I felt. Towards the end of the book, however, you realize that you are not reading as someone else that is reading these letters. It feels like you've actually recieved his letter in the mail and opened it, and read it to  yourself. And if you put yourself in that mind set, the things that he says about you at the end, about how he's heard you're a good person and that you are kind and that you'd never judge is just touching. I know it's not necessarily directed at you in particular, but I recognized those phrases were specifically put there so that a person who is sturggling with some type of insecurity or whatever they're going through can read that and be extremely content.

I'll admit, the things that Charlie revealed that he went through is horrible. And it also depresses me to see that they were done by a person that he was so close to, a person who was only mentioned briefly but frequently. You would have never assumed until he says that the psychiatrist asked a lot of questions about her and his childhood and all of that. It's only until he's about to do-the-doo with Sam that he slowly begins to fall apart. It's really sad, actually. And it had been so long until it happened, he must have blacked it out in some way. And he blames himself for way too much that's happened, I just wanna give him a hug... Then smack him straight....

Anyway, since the last paragraph was pretty brief on what happened to him, he basically discovers from one of Sam's touches that he had been molested by his Aunt Helen when he was younger, and goes haywire, breaks odwn, is found anked on the couch, and ends up in a hospital. I know, pretty hard core. What makes me kind of sad is that he wasn't mad at her, or anyone for that matter. He said he couldn't blame her, but instead blamed the man who molested her prior to that situation. He said that that was unfortunately who she turned out to be. At one point he says “So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them,".  That quote broke my little heart in two because, I don't know, I think about that a lot, really. It always bothers me when people say that they would change something in their life, or that they wish something that happened to them was taken away. I mean, life is no rainbow and sunshine. We've all got screwed up things happening left and right. While some things can be more severe than others, I think as long as we look at who we are and realize that if you changed even one tiny variable, even if it was not eating that cracker off of the floor when you were little, you wouldn't be the same. While we may not be who we want to be just yet, we've got our whole lives ahead of us. Hell, a majority of you reading this are 14-16? Pfft, you'll be fine.

The book is definitely well worth the read, though if you aren't into heavy stuff (most of which surprised me at first when going on, but didn't really bother me) then you probably should back off. There is drugs, the doing-of-the-do, rape, relationship problems, and just overall drama. If you're not willing to feel, don't read this book. Or just sit down and just don't read. Play with your carpet or something, I don't know.

Ken Kesey's 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'- Final Review

This book was definitely one heck of a ride. To read this book effectively you just have to look at everything literally, as well as without any litetral thought at all. That makes no sense I know, but think about it. If you want to understand what's going on to some degree, I'm mostly focusing on Bromden's hallucinations, then you have to take everything figuratively and just as an exceeded fear factor for Bromden's mind. However, if you want to try and comprehend how he must feel in that situation, you must read the hallucinations as if they're actually happening. It's very weird.

Honestly, I don't know if I'm satisfied or not with the ending. It wasn't a happy ending, which kind of satisfies me because it would have honestly been very unrealistic if it had been so simple. However, it didn't feel as fufilling as it should have been. It didn't make me put down the book and say, "wow". It was more like "alright..". But I think for this situation and this plot line, this could have probably been the best ending. (I'm not going too far into detail because I don't want to spoil anything)

Like I said in the last post, all of the character's had their own little satisfying quirks, and they definitely brought humor into the book. The book doesn't typically seem to be serious all that much. Maybe more towards the end, but when McMurphy is around it just seems like a good time. I mean, as much of a good time as you can have in an asylum.

A part that I found interesting in the book was when the narrator, Bromden, of course, says, "Maybe he couldn't understand why we weren't able to laugh yet, but he knew you can't really be strong until you can see a funny side to things. In fact, he worked so hard pointing out the funny side of things that I was wondering a little if maybe he was blind on the other side, if maybe he wasn't able to see what it was that parched laughter deep inside your stomach," (227). I guess this is just kind of an example of how positivity and the will to stay upbeat can work wonders for you and make you stronger, but it kind of stinks for those who finding positivity is practically impossible for. I'm sure Bromden feels some way because McMurphy simply doesn't understand what it is that restricts them from laughing, or smiling, or being as outgoing as he is. They've been beaten down so much that they don't even know how anymore. It's been too long.

Overall, I think this is a pretty good book. I can't say it was amazing or spectacular, or changed my views on anything. But I definitely was introduced to a whole new group of interesting people and in a setting that I'm not really used to. In a way it kind of reminds me of high school.... What a strange comparison...I mean all the rebellion, all the activities that were planned, all the filthy toiletry..... Yup, exactly like high school.

Stephen Chbosky's 'Perks of Being a Wallflower'- Midway Review

This book is weird.

I like it.

 While the story isn’t written in a format that I’m usually comfortable with, it doesn’t throw off the direction of the story. While everything is summarized by Charlie, they aren’t always important, and that’s almost a good thing. When he mentions tiny things like going to a burger place with Sam and Charlie, you can see how much he actually cares about them and how they really do calm him down. By seeing how much he cares about people, you grow to care about them to. However, you happen to see that Charlie doesn’t hate people. Everyone but the boy who hit his sister, of course, but he is really a kind soul.

 He’s so trouble and misled and occasionally innocent that I sometimes tend to put him into a little child’s voice and its only until he mentions that he eats weed brownies or took LSD and had so many hallucinations that he practically passed out in the snow at a party that you remember he’s a grown boy. You don’t really think much of his strange thoughts until the random mentions of the psychiatrist and a therapist are brought up. He mentions going to the doctor after seemingly blacking out after finding out about his Aunt Helen’s death. His family is always very gentle with him (except for his sister, she’s an idiotic brat. I’d have more respect for her if she wasn’t such a dsjfaksldjf to Charlie all the time.)

 It surprises me that a kid that’s only around a year and a half older than me takes part in these strange events, and it leads me to wonder what the hell is going on with the other kids in my school that I don’t know about. Parties with weed brownies and alcohol, casually taking LSD and having his friends educate him about LSD trips. Well, I guess Sam and Charlie ARE seniors, along with the rest of his friends. I’m kind of surprised his parents aren’t worried about him, are they really that naïve? Then again, I don’t think my mother would mind if I hung out with some seniors all the time. I mean, as long as they know I’m responsible and stuff.

 Charlie says a lot of interesting quotes for a fifteen year old, I’ll admit. They’re definitely relatable though, and I can tell that they’re mostly brewed from his extremely mature mind. One that I’ve definitely grown to appreciate was “I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that” (Chbosky 94). With depression or any types of stress and anxiety, anyone would just want to fail to exist at some point, I being one of them. For time to just stop for a bit and give you a break, and let you relax and put your pieces together before you’re forced back in. Charlie really is relatable, while maybe not with all aspects, it can relate from his mental struggles, to his personal struggles, to his social struggles. He’s quite a strange character, and I think that’s why I like him so much.

 I think we might be inching towards a climax of the book. Charlie’s mental stability seems to be decreasing, and I can’t tell if that’s from the random drugs that he does or just from his natural stability. Considering the fact that’s he’s restricting himself to even come to tears to anything except for his Aunt Helen. I don’t think that’ll be quite healthy for him, and I worry for him. However, I know his friends will be there to support him along the way.

Introduction to Stephen Chbosky's 'Perks of Being a Wallflower'

(Now that the movie's out I swear I can't find the original cover, so here, pretty movie banner)

This is a book I’ve been hearing about left and right, especially with the movie coming out and everything. From what I see, this is a book about a fifteen year old boy named Charlie. While he comes off as a complete ‘nerd’ through his commentary through the novel, though he doesn’t seem to be exaggeratedly freaky, as many characters are. He isn’t teased, he isn’t beat up or anything, and he’s just a regular kid. A regular kid with extra little ticks and a tendency to think too much about things. Earlier in the story, we’re told that his friend died, which is why he seems to be all alone, and a bit more separate from the world. He meets Charlie and Sam, who open him up to this world of misfits and weed-smokers. Though their antics may be socially unaccepted, they seem to be great people, and are extremely accepting of Charlie, despite his struggles and traumas. He’s seen abuse on many levels, from rape of a stranger to his older sister being beaten by her boyfriend, but seems to be holding it all in. It’s hard to kind of determine what’s going to happen in the future of this book. It seems like an almost day-by-day analysis of a normal life that happens to include quotes and events to make you reconsider things. Perhaps the plot will become more apparent later in the story.

Ken Kesey's 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'- Midway Review

Excuse my lack of updates. It’s no fun when your kindle is stolen. Anyway, I happened to find that I’m quite enjoying this book more as a physical book than a kindle, and I have no idea why. Anyway, though it still offers a lack of description and only occasional quotes, most of which are embedded in the descriptions, I find that I tend to enjoy all of the character’s quirks. Billy’s constant stream of stuttering, McMurphy’s sass, and I tend to even enjoy being delved in the narrator, ‘Chief’ Bromden’s insanity flashes which he calls the fog.

or a while I took everything he said very literally, then I kind of realized that it was all hallucinations and it made A LOT more sense. Bromden always talks about this ‘fog’ that he hides in sometimes that stops him from getting hurt. He says “Nobody complains about the fog, I know why, now: as bad as it is, you can slip back in it and feel safe. That’s what McMurphy can’t understand, us wanting to be safe. He keeps trying to drag us out of the fog, out into the open where we’d be easy to get at,” (123). It seems like when they go on these insanity flips, they aren’t as bothered by the staff of the asylum to follow procedures in particular and they are excused if they do something somewhat out of line or don’t respond because they simply are unable to. What I notice here is that he doesn’t say ‘McMurphy doesn’t understand”, which would imply he was capable of doing so, but just hasn’t. He said “McMurphy can’t,”. McMurphy can’t understand because he’s not insane. He will never be in the situation that they’re in, so when they space off or become distant he can’t see why. McMurphy tries to get them to open up and be happy when they play games like poker or monopoly with jokes and other things, and can’t see why they don’t actually do so. Bromden overall blames the asylum for his ‘fog’, developing this ‘fog machine’ in his mind. Maybe he’s trying to say that the hospital is really what’s driving him mad. While on the other hand, McMurphy brings a little light into the situation and helps the citizens lighten up and pulls them out of that fog.

I would go into more context with this, but I don’t know how much it will be stirring the plot and how important it is. All I know is that McMurphy is practically trying to get the Big Nurse to flip her lid. She did it once already, and after a bit it seemed like his antics were calming down when he realized that she’d probably extend his time at the hospital. Then, SURPRISE, he just screwed her over again. I kind of feel bad for her, having to deal with all this. However, I gotta stick to that protagonist side. Can’t waver too much. She’s being made out to be such a bad guy too so to keep things simple for me, I’m just gonna hang around McMurphy’s side (though it seems like the poor girl’s just doing her job).

Introduction to Ken Kesey's 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'

It's taken me quite a bit to decide on a classic book, but I've decided to take my time to read One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey. I read the sample, and frankly, I have no idea what's going on. From what I comprehend there's a mental ward, a group of black boys who do this person called the Big Nurse's bidding in the mental ward, and some weird stuff happens from the Big Nurse growing really big and beating up the black boys (don't get me wrong, they're really called this in the book) and some very exaggeratedly cruel punishments (That I have now confirmed are hallucinations by the narrator) done to the misbehaving patients in this hospital. We're introduced to this man called McMurphy, and from the description of the story in amazon, he'll turn the hospital upside down. I recognize that I have an unreliable narrator, and that may not be the best thing for me, but I can handle it. Though the book does not offer as much dialogue as I would prefer, I hope it can prove me wrong on my opinion on the fact these types of books (typically older, classics) lack the key to make me emotionally connected to characters in any way, due to their lack of dialogue and over-explanations.

Michael Schofield's 'January First'- Final Review

This was an AMAZING nonfiction book. THe way it is written is almost in a story-type format that makes you feel more engaged opposed to facts being thrown at you. However, I do occasionally question how accurate and exact all of his quotations and descriptions of things may be, but I'm sure they were put as accurately as he remembers. Schofield shares with us his thoughts, his worries, his determination, his fear, and is even willing to include his major faults. Though a lot of things that he thinks about Susan at the time, and that Susan did were negative, he doesn't fail to include details that may make him, or Susan look bad. Their struggle is definitely evident throughout thes tory, and there were even portions that made me tear up. Janni (It's actually spelled Jani now, I found out. After having a friend in the hospital named Dani, she changed it, but I'll continue to write Janni for now since it's what I'm used to) and her parents have to go through so much, and to be introduced to the feelings of a father who is incapable of doing anything to truly help Janni, the hopelessness is apparent on so many different levels. Janni screams, Janni cries, Janni tries to kill herself, Janni tries to hurt other things, Janni's disassociating from reality, and no matter what they do, Michael has to face the fact that there is nothing he can truly do to help his little girl. While Janni is still struggling with her hallucinations, which will never truly go away, she's definitely improving with the help of animal therapy. She takes care of animals from reptiles to horses in order to help calm her outbreaks and other things.

One significant thing in the story that I noticed was the mention of eyes. Schofield talks about how Janni changes depending on her eyes, saying "I've had a lot of experience holding Janni down to keep her from hitting or kicking Bodhi, so I've had the opportunity to look Janni in the eyes a lot. When I do, I don't see them looking back at me. They look blind, like the entire world has disappeared. I have a photo of Janni that I use as the desktop image on our computer... Every time I boot up the computer, Janni's eyes appear, looking right at me. There is warmth in them along with a simple look of happiness. For three years I have been hoping to see those eyes again" (Schofield 100). I feel  extremely bad for Janni's father because he's tried so hard to make her happy, but has unfortunately gotten so little in return. I'm not saying that it's Janni's fault or anything, it's just an extremely fortunate happening, to never be able to see your daughter TRULY happy. He only sees her suffer almost every day, to the point that it makes her almost suicidal.

I believe that this is an extremely good book, adn that if you have any interest in psychiatry or psychosis of any time, this would be a really good book to read. It's inspiring, and it almost reminds you, if you're a parent (I'm not, but if I was I'm sure this book would butcher my heart right about now) you'd probably learn a few things from this book. Never giving up, making your kids your number one priority, and that sacrifices must be made for the well being of your kids, not you.

Links:
If you want to continue following Jani's story or contact Michael Schofield, you can go to www.janifoundation.org

Jani and Oprah Winfrey- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAWkZguGD7s
- This is pretty simple to explain. Just a mini story on Oprah about Jani's situation and an overall explanation of what is going on presently. The story took place when Jani was six, so this is more of an update on what's happening.

A random song I found written about Jani: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Q4ZR_Bye_4
- The song is called 'Calalini'. It's written from the perspective of Jani (not actually written by her, of course) and her troubles with her hallucinations. This wasn't made by her family or anything, more of a 'fan-made' thing. It's also a Vocaloid, so it's hard to understand sometimes. These are computer generated voices that are made to make songs. If you're not into that, it's fine. I just stumbled upon it and thought it'd be cool to share.