This was an AMAZING nonfiction book. THe way it is written is almost in a story-type format that makes you feel more engaged opposed to facts being thrown at you. However, I do occasionally question how accurate and exact all of his quotations and descriptions of things may be, but I'm sure they were put as accurately as he remembers. Schofield shares with us his thoughts, his worries, his determination, his fear, and is even willing to include his major faults. Though a lot of things that he thinks about Susan at the time, and that Susan did were negative, he doesn't fail to include details that may make him, or Susan look bad. Their struggle is definitely evident throughout thes tory, and there were even portions that made me tear up. Janni (It's actually spelled Jani now, I found out. After having a friend in the hospital named Dani, she changed it, but I'll continue to write Janni for now since it's what I'm used to) and her parents have to go through so much, and to be introduced to the feelings of a father who is incapable of doing anything to truly help Janni, the hopelessness is apparent on so many different levels. Janni screams, Janni cries, Janni tries to kill herself, Janni tries to hurt other things, Janni's disassociating from reality, and no matter what they do, Michael has to face the fact that there is nothing he can truly do to help his little girl. While Janni is still struggling with her hallucinations, which will never truly go away, she's definitely improving with the help of animal therapy. She takes care of animals from reptiles to horses in order to help calm her outbreaks and other things.
One significant thing in the story that I noticed was the mention of eyes. Schofield talks about how Janni changes depending on her eyes, saying "I've had a lot of experience holding Janni down to keep her from hitting or kicking Bodhi, so I've had the opportunity to look Janni in the eyes a lot. When I do, I don't see them looking back at me. They look blind, like the entire world has disappeared. I have a photo of Janni that I use as the desktop image on our computer... Every time I boot up the computer, Janni's eyes appear, looking right at me. There is warmth in them along with a simple look of happiness. For three years I have been hoping to see those eyes again" (Schofield 100). I feel extremely bad for Janni's father because he's tried so hard to make her happy, but has unfortunately gotten so little in return. I'm not saying that it's Janni's fault or anything, it's just an extremely fortunate happening, to never be able to see your daughter TRULY happy. He only sees her suffer almost every day, to the point that it makes her almost suicidal.
I believe that this is an extremely good book, adn that if you have any interest in psychiatry or psychosis of any time, this would be a really good book to read. It's inspiring, and it almost reminds you, if you're a parent (I'm not, but if I was I'm sure this book would butcher my heart right about now) you'd probably learn a few things from this book. Never giving up, making your kids your number one priority, and that sacrifices must be made for the well being of your kids, not you.
Links:
If you want to continue following Jani's story or contact Michael Schofield, you can go to www.janifoundation.org
Jani and Oprah Winfrey- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAWkZguGD7s
- This is pretty simple to explain. Just a mini story on Oprah about Jani's situation and an overall explanation of what is going on presently. The story took place when Jani was six, so this is more of an update on what's happening.
A random song I found written about Jani: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Q4ZR_Bye_4
- The song is called 'Calalini'. It's written from the perspective of Jani (not actually written by her, of course) and her troubles with her hallucinations. This wasn't made by her family or anything, more of a 'fan-made' thing. It's also a Vocaloid, so it's hard to understand sometimes. These are computer generated voices that are made to make songs. If you're not into that, it's fine. I just stumbled upon it and thought it'd be cool to share.
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